Undo By Cool Joke
A man is driving along the motorway with his wife in the passenger seat. During the drive, the wife gets an idea. She starts taking off her clothing piece by piece and tossing them out the window.
The guy is shocked but aroused. She gets her shoes, socks, etc. and chucks them out. Finally, she whips her underwear off and throws it all out onto the motorway. The guy is laughing and leering at her. He looses control of the car in the process and crashes into a barrier at the side.
Unfortunately, the air-bag doesn’t go off on his side, and he finds himself wedged in under the steering wheel. “Help, go get help……aggghhhh, I’m stuck”, he shouts.
“But I have no clothes on. What’ll I do ?”, she screams.
“Here”, he says wiggling his foot, “Take my shoe and put it over your crotch. It’ll have to do, love. Quick, hurry!”
She takes the shoe off his foot and places it over her crotch and gets out of the car, limping and shouting for help. After a few hundred yards of yelling and running a trucker notices this naked hysterical woman holding a shoe over her crotch, and pulls over.
“What’s seems to be the trouble?”, he asks.
“Help me”, she screams, “My husband is stuck”.
“If he’s stuck up that far I’m afraid I can’t help you.”
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A mother and father took their 6-year-old son to a nude beach. As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother s, and asked her why.
The mother told her son, The bigger they are the dumber that person is.
Satisfied with the answer, the boy left to play in the ocean, but returned to tell his mother that many of the men have larger pee-pees than his dad.
His mother explained, The bigger they are the dumber that person is. Again, satisfied with the answer, the boy returned to the ocean to play.
Shortly after, the boy returned again, promptly informing his mother, Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach, and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets!
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A blonde goes into the dry cleaners to have her sweater cleaned. She asks the clerk, How much?
He doesn t hear her correctly and says Come again?
She giggles and says No…it s just mustard this time.
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A plane is on its way to Detroit when a blonde woman in economy class gets up and moves into an open seat in the first class section.
The flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must sit in economy class because that’s the type of ticket she paid for.
The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Detroit and I’m staying right here.”
After repeated attempts and no success at convincing the woman to move, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-piolet that there’s a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat. The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, “I’m blonde, I’m beatiful, I’m going to Detroit and I’m staying right here.”
The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, “You say she’s blonde? I’ll handle this. I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde.” He goes back to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, “Oh, I’m sorry,” then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.
The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.
“I told her first class isn’t going to Detroit.”
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A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, “Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I’d really rather have a job.”
The social worker behind the counter says, “Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You’ll have to drive around in his Mercedes, and he’ll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You’ll be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips and you will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You’ll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The salary is $200,000 a year.”
The guy, wide-eyed, says, “You’re bullshittin’ me!”
The social worker says, “Yeah, well… you started it.”
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