Desk Practical Jokes
This guy sticks his head into a crowded barbershop and asks, “How long before I can get a haircut?”
The barber looks around the shop at all the customers and says, “About two hours,” and the guy leaves.
Every day, the same guy pokes his head in at the busiest time, and every day he s told there s a long wait and he leaves. Finally, after about two weeks of this, the barber looks over at a buddy and says, “Bill, why don t you follow that guy and see where he goes?”
In a little while, Bill comes back into the shop, laughing hysterically.
“Well?” says the barber. “So where does he go?”
“To your house.”
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Two men from Texas were sitting at a bar when a young lady nearby began to choke on a hamburger. She gasped and gagged.
One Texan turned to the other and said, That little gal is havin a bad time. I m agonna go over there and help.
He ran over to the young lady, held both sides of her head in his hands and asked Kin ya swaller?
Gasping, she shook her head “no.”
He asked, Kin ya breathe?
Still gasping, she again shook her head No.”
With that he yanked up her skirt, pulled down her underwear and licked her ass. The young woman was so shocked that she coughed up the bit of hamburger that was stuck and began to breathe on her own. The Texan sat back down with his friend and said, Ya know, it s sure amazin’ how that hind-lick maneuver always works!
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A blonde who suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly, opens the door, and, sure enough, finds him naked in the arms of a redhead. Well, now she s angry. She opens her purse and takes out the gun. But as she does so, she is overcome with grief and points the gun at her own head.
The boyfriend yells, “No, honey, don t do it.”
“Shut up,” she says. “You re next.”
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5. The blood bank mentioned this might happen.
4. Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot.
3. Unbelievable; I thought that cold medicine said DAYTIME!
2. Whew! Guess I left the top off that liquid paper.
AND THE #1 THING TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK: Amen.
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A guy hears a knock at his door. When he answers it, there s nobody there, but there s a snail on the welcome mat. Frustrated, the guy picks up the snail and hurls it into the street.
Five years go by, and there s another knock at the door. The man answers it, and again there s no one standing there, but there s a snail on the welcome mat.
The snail looks up and says, What the hell was that all about?
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